Independence Day 2005
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE FROM THE REALM
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today (Wednesday, November 8, 2000).
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume royal duties over all U.S. states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed it as missing.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect. You may refer to them as the New Ten Commandments:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises, such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".Thank you for your co-operation.
For The World Outside Your Borders
British Sovereign Set to Reclaim Lost Colony - -Bob Djurdjevic:
Like Franklin of old,Bob Djurdjevic, witty and brilliant editor of the Truth in Media (TIM), a non-profit organization educating the public on geopolitical affairs and correcting governmental distortions of the truth, officially denies having scripted this piece which first appeared in Truth in Media (TIM), . It is reprinted with permission.
Bob's popular Internet newsletter Truth in Media (TIM), received a number of awards for the TiM coverage of the unprovoked US bombardment of Yugoslavia in 1999.
For Further information Contact: Bob Djurdjevic